It has been revealed in an NNN exclusive that Tyler Sullivan, the fifth grader from Minnesota had marijuana in his system when he confronted President  Obama demanding a note excusing him from school.  “We determined that it would be safer for the president if Sullivan received this note. You just don‘t know, now a days“, stated Candy Dancer, a spokesperson for the Secret Service. Mr Ackerman who is Tyler’s fifth grade principal, stated under the condition of anonymity since he did not want known his hatred of the president and an abnormal infatuation with Michelle Obama that “Just between you and me, I have been gunning for this sniveling liberal since kindergarten” . According to school policy all absent students from first to twelfth grade are routinely drug tested by the truancy interdiction division of homeland security who tested and interrogated Tyler and then released him into the custody of his father, a rumored alcoholic, after posting bond. Tyler’s school chums described him as “a loner”.

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  1. This young man is in desperate need of not just proper parenting, he requires treatment to instill proper mental hygiene. Our foundation is planning on a major contribution to establish centers for these lost children and are inviting Dr Pavlov to serve as our chief of outcome research. We will notify NNN when the check is sent to your organization. Sally Holiday, President

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