ESTEEMED DIRECTOR ANNOUNCES MINISTRY

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For the criminally insane challenged to integrate into our society, a sound, loving marriage is essential. As director of this prestigious Institution I have endeavored by intense study and spiritual reflection to obtain my ordination as a certified marriage counselor so I may unite our residents with the bonds of holy matrimony. I have also founded a new program that will not only provide a wedding chapel at the institute for our residents but also for visiting brides and grooms regardless of their race, color,creed or mental stability. A training program for our residents with the goal of becoming certified marriage counselors, officiates, celebrants, photographers and DJ’s will offer a complete package for an unforgettable union.  Courses in floral arrangement will also be offered as well as a design bureau for wedding rings that will provide a unique and lasting memento for the newly weds. Space for the new wedding chapel, which we have named “The Invisible Wedding Bell Chapel”, will be located next to our pet crematorium that is handicapped and gurney accessible. Rooms will be available at the Institute for guests who will experience the utmost in hospitality from our friendly residents. A physician will give an exhaustive examination, courtesy of AstraZeneca, that will provide a valid prescription for suitable antidepressants insuring the couple a lifetime of happiness free of this dreaded disease.Their guests may also participate in this generous offering so essential for the practice of proper mental hygiene.You can imagine the excitement of being wed at our chapel and the happy couple will treasure these memories until death due them part. Off season discounts will be offered.

 

 

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