YOUR CHILD’S HAPPINESS FROM A TO Z”
9PM on Fox
Today’s parents face a terrifying environment in order to create a happy child safe from the scourge of mental illness and depression. Drug addicted teachers, gun toting gangs, a political system gone mad with regulation and taxes are just a few of the perils that hinder the development of our children from becoming well adjusted and contented consumers. In NNN’s five part series, “Your Child’s Happiness From A to Z”, proudly sponsored by AstraZeneca, the company that cares about your child’s mental health and well-being, we will explore how parents can utilize new and revolutionary techniques to cure the ills of our techno obsessed society and its satanic influence over our children’s delicate minds.
Dr Oral Pavlov, NNN’s health and education consultant highly recommends the series; “I had the opportunity to view a pre-release of this vital broadcast and I can say that if the criminally insane watched this series over 98% of school shootings would never had happened. I may also add that Miley Cyrus did an outstanding job in her first dramatic role portraying a child psychiatrist.”
“HOW TO PLAY WITH TOYS”
NNN’s first installment will air Friday at 9 Pm on Fox.
Parents, when your child opens that special birthday gift does he just stare into space with that all too familiar disturbed look? Does she spend hours in creating inappropriate games and doesn’t learn anything? Does he waste endless hours with miniature cars and trucks while making crashing sounds and other obscene noises? These are sure signs that your child will grow up to be a worthless and unhappy daydreamer facing a future of poverty, mental illness and depression. Or worse!
“How To Play With Toys” will teach you how to guide your child’s creativity and imagination in a goal directed process with the approved method of reward and penalties designed by child development experts at our Nation’s leading behavioral clinics. Imagine how proud you will be when your child’s Facebook page will be the envy of the neighborhood! If you truly love your child then you won’t miss this special presentation.
******* SPECIAL OFFER FROM NNN *******
Now your child can own their very own DIGITAL BUILDING BLOCKS! This set of three building blocks will accelerate his IQ while infusing his brain with mind numbing ingenuity. Each block is made from Detactilnite*, a revolutionary substance that eliminates the bothersome “funny feeling” that kids get from wooden, snot-encrusted blocks. She will delight in the weightless, empty feeling that Digital Blocks provide and they are so easy to clean. Your pre-schooled will be amazed as the blocks morph into different shapes right before their eyes. Round, triangle, even capsule shape will delight your young scientist!
But that’s not all these blocks can do! The metric system is taught in a fun way and soon your child will instantly learn how to compute kilograms, grams, milligrams and micrograms displayed on its built in high resolution screen. You will be amazed at how quickly your little man or little lady will learn the meaning and proper intervals of one, two, three times a day! So order yours now and give your child the head start they deserve. Operators are standing by.
*Detactilnite is a trademark of Monsanto Industrial Polymers”